Happy June! Hope this change in season and brand new month has brought you all inspiration like it has to me.
It was rather fascinating for me to realize that 2015 is practically halfway done. In just six short months my life has practically transformed. Not to toot my own horn, but I notice my change in behavior is for the better. What I mean by that is: I am growing. I am learning. I am accepting. I am maturing. Life is an excellent teacher. Forget Common Core, which forces you to think “why.” Life goes ahead and gives you a test so you can learn the lesson afterwards. Sometimes you will spend an eternity asking yourself why and you might not even get an explanation as to why you learned that lesson…but you did. It was necessary for you to learn it because it is going to prepare you for something big.
For the past year or so, I have been detoxing my life from all sorts of negativity. I have let go of anything petty because my life has no room for pettiness. To be honest, my life has room for very little and that little will only involve things that make me genuinely happy. For example, cafe con leche, high heels, children with funny personalities, salsa music, traveling, gentle speaking people, and anything cultural that fill my soul till it spills over. Sacrifices are the exception.
Someone once told me that my twenties were my selfish years. They were very persistent in making it clear to me that these were the years to find myself and experience life. So at thirty I stop experiencing life? None of that made sense to me. Once you realize the shocking permanence of death, you do not want to stop experiencing life at twenty-nine! Most of my friends are in their thirties. Without a doubt, these individuals have not stopped experiencing life simply because they have settled down and started a family. On the contrary, actually. It is a different kind of experience.
Although I do agree that you should be a bit selfish in your twenties, I can’t say I completely agree with the idea of “finding myself” at the age of twenty. People in their fifties still don’t know who they are. That’s fine. Life is a journey. You never truly find yourself. You know who you are and come to terms with that. You appreciate yourself more with age because you realize that you are all you’ve got. Fortunately, I learned that very early in life.
What I can tell you is that I have learned to put myself first. Wisdom, especially quirky wisdom, is something I have a passion for. Absorbing advice and lessons are two things that make me feel brilliant.
June 1st, I received some terrible news that pretty much stumped all my work for the past year. It threw away every piece of my puzzle that was practically close to being done. I cried. I cried a lot. I allowed myself to crawl back into that ugly hole of negativity I swore I would never crawl back into. Allergy medication and eight hours of sleep later, an Elsa revelation hit me and I let it go. “Everything happens for a reason, Tiffany,” I said to myself. “You learned.”
I learned. I’m learning.
To love myself the way I am. For a long time I
OVERanalyzed practically every detail of my personality. Every. Single. One. I’d see how people would react to what I say and to what I don’t say. I’m quieter now, that’s for sure. Not because I am ashamed of what I have to say, but because I realized that the same way I can edit what I write I can measure what I say. If I do not want pettiness in my life, I need to make sure I do not say petty things.
I am who I am. I laugh (really) loud. I say things I probably should not, but it is done innocently. If there is something about me that I truly enjoy, it’s my sense of humor. My favorite way of expressing myself is through my outfits and since that is what I like…that is what I am going to do. Am I overdressed sometimes? You bet. Do I care? Not anymore.
Tiffany is now doing with Tiffany’s time what Tiffany wants. It has been truly liberating. Realizing my life is mine and I am blessed to do as I please with it. I invite you to love yourself. It is a beautiful selfish lesson I have incorporated into my selfish years. Because it is like saving yourself on an airplane. Make sure you are okay before helping those next to you.
God Bless & Be Happy!